I cheated on my spouse with an 80-year-old lady — can I nonetheless maintain my marriage?

DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I are each in our mid-50s. Resulting from a medical subject she has, we not often have intercourse. I don’t actually give it some thought fairly often anymore. In the meantime, I’ve a good friend, “Edie.” Now we have been pals for few years now. I met her in my facet job as a handyman. She’s in her 80s.

My spouse has met Edie and calls her my “girlfriend” in a joking method, not less than I believe so. On occasion, Edie would drop little sexual remarks, which, at first, I by no means observed. Once I acknowledged them, I by no means actually thought a lot about them.

At some point lately, Edie was having a foul day and was crying about desirous to really feel alive. One factor led to a different, and we wound up having intercourse. Now she has “woke up” and at all times desires to interact in intercourse after I see her. Till now, I by no means cheated on my spouse in all of the years we’ve been married, and it weighs on my thoughts closely. 

I like my spouse and don’t wish to lose her or the connection we’ve. I additionally don’t wish to smash the connection I’ve with Edie, if that’s doable, who’s only a good good friend and nothing extra. Edie’s well being is beginning to get slightly sensitive and, per her household historical past, she is going to dwell only some extra years. She doesn’t actually have many pals or household to spend time together with her. 

Can I maintain my spouse and my friendship with Edie? Please give me some good recommendation as I battle with what to do. –– GOOD HUSBAND AND FRIEND

DEAR HUSBAND/FRIEND: Get up! I’ve information for you. Because you began servicing Edie, she has turn into one thing apart from a “good good friend,” and you’ve got turn into in a way her boy toy.

In case you love your spouse, cease the burgeoning affair now earlier than it blows uncontrolled and your spouse finds out. In case you permit this to proceed, your spouse shall be harm, and chances are high good that your marriage shall be destroyed. 

DEAR ABBY: My 28-year-old son was killed by a semi in a hit-and-run. We didn’t discover out for weeks till he was recognized by fingerprints. My husband and I had been devoted members of a church congregation. Many instances, I used to be in command of the nursery. For 3 months previous to the accident, I had been holding a baby for a church member at no cost as a result of her dad was sick with most cancers. 

When my son was killed, Abby, not one particular person despatched a casserole and even known as me. In fact, I didn’t go to church for a pair weeks. However nobody, together with the preacher, reached out! Since then, I now not attend that exact congregation. Am I anticipating an excessive amount of? — SO HURT IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SO HURT: Please settle for my sympathy for the tragic lack of your son. As an lively member of that congregation, you anticipated extra of a response than common silence. A couple of particular person dropped the ball after your tragedy, and beneath the circumstances, your harm is pure. You probably did the appropriate factor by altering church buildings, and I hope you’re receiving emotional assist from the brand new congregation you could have joined.

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.